Emma Watson Covered All Bases at MTV Movie Awards

MTV kicked off the evening long homage to inclusiveness by declaring their best actor award non-gender specific, nominating both male and female movie stars with appropriate diversity bona fides. It was a spectacular moment in social progress. Even as nine more MTV reality show members died or became crippled as they encouraged young girls to aspire to bitchy pregnant whore as a career goal. If you’re truly cynical enough, you can get away with everything.

Emma Watson took home the award for Beauty and the Beast, a project she moved to after being booted off La La Land for being exceptionally petty and demanding. From day one, Watson made it her mission to alter the perception of her role in the film from a fifteen million dollar Disney musical jackpot to a mission to empower women globally. This is for you, Ugandan serf women. Worthing noting, people with real jobs never feel the need to redefine their work as having a helpful bent. 

During her acceptance speech, Watson worked her way through a litany of virtue signaling on anything and everything to do with anything that sounded socially progressive:

First she noted MTV as being on the forefront of gender equality:

“MTV’s move to create a genderless award for acting will mean something different to everyone. But to me, it indicates that acting is about the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and that doesn’t need to be separated into two different categories.”

Right you are, most self-satisfied annoying person ever. Watson eased into a thank you to her award presenter, Asia Kate Dillon, the first gender non-binary actor on a major TV show. Nobody knows what the fuck that means, but Watson thanked it for helping educated her:

“Empathy and the ability to use your imagination should have no limits. This is very meaningful for me, both to be winning the award and to be receiving it from you, Asia. Thank you for educating me in such an inclusive, patient, and loving way.”

For her grand finale, Watson described Beauty and the Beast as more than a mere movie, but sort of the Civil Rights Movement and Tiananmen Square rolled into one, with rollicking music:

“I’m so proud to be a part of a film that celebrates diversity, literacy, inclusion, joy, and love the way that this one does.”

Imagine the tens of millions of movie-goers clamoring to see the movie again, having missed all of that the first go-round. Wasn’t it a big chimera animal composite fucking a village girl? Quit looking through patriarchal lenses of ignorance. Also, Harry Potter was about educational equality for girls in the wizarding sciences. It was subtle to be that much more powerful. Remember the Chinese garment workers. No particular reason why, just remember them. Your UN Ambassador has spoken.

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