Diddy’s Chef Sues for Having to See Too Much Diddy Shlong

Cindy Rueda is suing Diddy claiming she worked as his personal chef and he routinely made her bring him food into his bedroom chambers in the midst of, or directly after, his rich guy rapper orgies. According to the lawsuit, Diddy was often still undressed and hanging out post-coital. A man gets hungry after multi-lady tea bagging. Also, probably some dudes.

Rueda claims it was common for Diddy’s other male guests to come into the kitchen with swinging dicks looking for snacks. Presumably this wasn’t part of the employment contract, unless you read the fine print and search for the “bare cock” clause. In her suit Rueda says she complained about all the dick to Diddy’s personal assistant who took matters to heart and threatened Rueda to either quit or be charged with stealing a Diddy watch from the Diddy house.

Rueda’s suit may be opportunistic lies, but the stories surely seem very believable. The stolen jewelry bit is a common threat made to household staff to terminate them for cause. Also, household staff steal a lot of jewelry.

Diddy’s reps insist this is entirely a shakedown by a disgruntled ex-employee. Search your soul and wonder what it might be like to be Diddy’s in-house servant of any kind. This is why men of great means used to employ eunuch mutes. Presume this never goes to trial. The chef is being paid either way. I’d open with ten thousand for each uninvited view of Diddy’s limp wet dick. Twenty thousand for erect. Stop counting at about 200K. You were there to make sandwiches.

_{Photo credit: Splash News}