Bruce Jenner Ruins Caitlyn

When Bruce Jenner added tits and designer gowns and courageously announced he was now Caitlyn, his tranny theatrics had an impact on more than merely his friends and family, and to a slight degree, that woman he vehicular killed on PCH. He also murdered the name Caitlyn.

Not since Hillary and Adolf, has a U.S. baby dropped so fast and so far off the new babies names list produced by the Social Security Administration as Caitlyn and its various similar spellings. The name peaked in the late 80’s as a Top 50 girls name which is curiously about the time Bruce launched his ingenious plan to be a bottom with amazing cheek bones. Starting with marrying Kris Jenner. Pegging requires a hammer.

In 2016, Caitlyn dropped 542 spots on the list. The biggest drop of any name, by far. An undeniable connection to the Courage Award winning Vera Wang outfitted former decathlete stirring up mixed feelings. The founder of a baby naming website insisted that the entire drop can’t be blamed on anti-tranny sentiments surrounding Caitlyn Jenner. More simply that people avoid controversial names and political names even if they’re supporters, to keep their kids from being hassled.

That does make sense. As does the fact that not nearly as many people admire Caitlyn Jenner as the media would have you believe. They’re likely off by a couple standard deviations, if that means anything close to eighty-percent.

As a general rule, parents are necessarily annoying when they step out of the realm of traditional names in favor of names of the moment. As boring as Michael or Stephen is, it beats Kylo, which was one of the top trending baby names last year. Congratulations. You’re name is courtesy of an emo Sith who murdered his father who couldn’t accept his son’s gay hair. For girls, the name Khelani jumped a ton, after Khelani Parrish, the young rapper who tried to kill herself and was recently self-admitted to the hospital for feeling crazy. Not exactly Janis Joplin. Not yet.

It takes a real man to ruin a good woman’s name. Though that was never meant to be literal.