Aaron Hernandez’ Fiancee Shares It All With Dr. Phil

Aaron Hernandez’ fiancee, Shayanna Jenkens, found herself facing Dr. Phil on the fake home interview set. This is no cakewalk. Your appearance fee is for more than looking good and crying thrice. Dr. Phil wants answers. Though as a distant second to long convoluted suppositions posing as questions. He peed before the interview. He’s got time. 

Behind Dr. Phil’s mustache is even more mustache, but behind that is the brain of a third rate Nancy Grace. Jenkens expressed her belief that Aaron Hernandez did not kill himself in prison. She’s known the man since grade school and is certain his behavior was anything but reflective of a suicidal man. Though she also believes he’s not affiliated with a street gang, didn’t spend his Saturday nights gunning down enemies, and his so-called prison gay romance was merely a game of Crazy Eights where the loser had to suck the other dude’s cock while moaning like he loves it. Jenken’s judgement is in question. 

This chick’s in a bad position. She bet long on an All-Star NFL tight end who turned out to be a gay murdering gang banger. Odds are she knew all about the closet full of skeletons but was hoping it would be avoided while she nestled comfortably into his $40 million contract. Like marrying Dr. Banner and hoping he never nicks himself opening a cut of beans. There’s no insurance for Aaron Hernandez smash stuff. She’s broke. Hence, a greasy wad of cash to listen to Dr. Phil ask and answer his own questions for forty-two minutes. 

Somewhere in heaven Aaron Hernandez is smiling. But only because post-mortem a bunch of football players have come out and they’re having an amazing time.