Victoria Beckham Brands Daughter

Victoria Beckham trademarked her five year old daughter’s name, meaning nobody else can use the name Harper Beckham when selling products, a moot point unless she’s kidnapped and sold in the child sex slave rings Nancy Grace has us convinced are proliferating in the white suburbs. Beckham will control all say in the matter until the tyke turns 18, meaning she will be licensing a ton of Chinese manufactured garbage under her Harper’s name.

She’s done the same with her three other children, one of whom is a fourteen year old male model. It’s one thing to sell your kids into show ponies if you’re living in a shotgun shack in lower Laos, but if you have the means, perhaps try and prevent them from cocaine and bunga bunga parties in the eighth grade. Clearly this is new money. If she keeps popping them out at this rate she’ll be on every shelf in the Walmart. Try Romeo Beckham’s personal line of suppositories and rectal itch creams. It’s not hot to be scratching down there. 

Exploiting a five year old is pretty nasty business. Harper Beckham is all over her mom’s Instagram feed, as are a bunch of other people’s little girls who are modeling her shitty Target clothes. If she were a guy it would be a bit more obvious what a total creep she is. That’s when the husband is supposed to step in. Unfortunately in this case the husband is a gay underwear model who is likely being extorted by his own wife to keep quiet and is probably still amused by alphabet soup.

Anorexic Spice is now free to continue building her empire on the backs of her unsuspecting children. Perhaps she’ll have her Rosebud moment, but not until after the first billion and several trips to the rehab farm to see her daughter who is obsessed with using her mom’s products to self injure herself. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}