Tomi Lahren All Over The Place

Tomi Lahren is the official embodiment of the hot chick who’s been coasting on looks her whole young life. Once they turn forty she will sue you for not trimming your trees as head of the Homeowners Association. Also, start talking shit about the effects of porn on society. The classic Rose McGowan.

Lahren was fired from The Blaze, purportedly for publicly stating her pro-choice position at a media outlet run by Christian conservatives. Although it’s becoming more and more clear the role her being annoying as shit played in her termination. Specifically, she refuses to fuck the people who overpaid her and gave her a job she was in no way qualified for. Was this really not covered in journalism school? You’re 24 and being paid like you’re 50, here are the reasons why.

Lahren wants to retain her Facebook page that was created by The Blaze. She has no legal case. She appeared on Nightline, red flag, to complain about being fired, even though according to herself she voluntarily left. She also complained that she would be losing her Facebook page which she apparently believes she can parlay into a CNN gig and is correct. 

Her Facebook page has 4.5 million followers. It’s not an insignificant number. Most of them are veterans who don’t know how to find proper porn and are sadly jerking off to blond girl punditry. The Blaze has a lawyer who speaks in plain English. It’s unclear whether this is because he is working for sixteen dollars an hour or if he’s ushering in a new movement: 

“It’s official: We are now as confused as Tomi seems to be. It’s not every day that a current employee sues for being fired, but then gives an interview asking to be fired… For the record, Tomi has had, and continues to have, access to the Facebook account in question. None of this makes sense.”

That’s true. Whoever you are can you please cage fight Mark Geragos and knock the shitty beard off his face? Chris Brown beats the shit out of women. Lahren comes from the teasing your hair school of reporting. Maybe you’re dyslexic Lahren, fuck Murdoch or don’t, but you can’t just touch the crinkly tip. 

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