Pamela Anderson “Affair” With WikiLeaks Founder

Pamela Anderson will be fifty in July. Look at her face if you need proof. The former porn star and current grab bag of bones and silicon is opening up about her “affair” with WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange. At least enough to keep herself in the news. Bravo, Pamela. Assange is currently seeking asylum at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London. Anderson frequently visits him. He must love a good fright.

Anderson is trying to pull a Carly Simon by teasing audiences with the details of her relationship. You’re So Veiny. She deeply admires the work that Assange does. He’s taking her word for it that she’s hepatitis free. Anderson states:

Julian is trying to free the world by educating it. It is a romantic struggle — I love him for this. I understand that our ‘affair’ and the curiosity surrounding that might bring some attention to his situation. That’s fine, but I’d rather not go into private details. Let’s just say everyone deserves love.

We talk about the world. He’s a very good teacher. Julian is one of my favorite people. He is a refugee. He might be the most famous refugee of our time— famous for being persecuted.

She doesn’t know what WikiLeaks is. Staying relevant at 49 when your biggest claims to fame are running on the beach on Baywatch and receiving Tommy Lee is difficult. Anderson is still thin. She’ll get by. The Internet doesn’t pay attention to the other important details. After a couple more surgical tweaks she’ll have face swapped with Kim Basinger. That’s something. More power to Anderson if fake fucking Assange gets her some attention:

I’m very concerned about his well-being and safety. I’m very moody. I wouldn’t say I’m a happy person. I’m tormented and love sick always. It’s hard to find relief sometimes. I’m trying to not feel lonely. But, I hurt a lot about so many things. I’m a romantic – it makes my stomach hurt.

The “hurt” is the pain she feels when trying to move her face. Here’s Anderson pimping out Coco de Mer in a new campaign.

^{Photo credit: People, Splash News}