Mel B Picking Up Steam

There are two people going to war in the divorce and eventual child custody matter of Stephen Belafonte and Mel B. Only one of them seems to have a plan. Mel Brown’s been visiting her attorney daily, had reports leaked that her make-up artist is willing to attest to the bruises on Brown’s face and neck, and Lady Victoria Hervey has publicly confirmed she had a threesome with Belafonte and his then wife. That last one isn’t so much a legal strategy as Hervey trying to remind people that she was once fuckable.

Belafonte asserts the accusations of his physically and sexually abusive behavior are untrue. He repeatedly mentions being saddened by his ex-wife’s claims. The history of guys saddened by abuse claims is not bright. They’re winless. Sharon Osbourne, who can supply zero evidentiary facts about the case, turned earnestly to the camera on her talk show to put herself in the mix:

“Three years ago, in the final two days of X Factor, she didn’t make the first day and she was in the hospital. And it was reported in all the papers that said “allegedly” she’s been beaten by her husband.”

Thanks. Triple hearsay is hard to come by. Osborne’s first of many latter day remembrances speaks to the shit filled creek Belafonte is up. You decided not to work after marrying your wealthy wife a decade ago and your hobby is making sex tapes. You’re not going to do well in the court of public opinion. Did you even consider sailing? Would being on the board of a charity have killed you?

It’s time for Belafonte to remind people that he’s black and grew up with little. Though omit the part where you randomly changed your last name to Belafonte. It’s weird and most people forgot about it long ago. You’ll rise again. Good looking abusive mofos with an ounce of fame and a pound of money always land on fresh pussy. It’s like watching the crocs snatch the gnus from the water hole’s edge. There’s a lot of gnus. Some of them are bound to lack foresight.

_{Photo credit: FameFlynet}