Madonna Old Ass Buffoon (VIDEO)

Universal has picked up a script called Blonde Ambition, about Madonna’s early days as an up and comer in New York City, nude modeling, sleeping in gutters and whatever else happened in the movie she based her life on.

Back then it was called The Big Apple and people still believed cigarettes were good for bronchitis. It is widely assumed that Madonna clawed her way to the top by fucking anyone and everyone in sight, assuming they worked for a record label or otherwise had sixty bucks and a threepence to take a buggy ride home. 

Madonna got her county fair smoked turkey leg hands on the script and called out the screenwriter for writing untrue things about her, particularly a scene involving her first appearance on American Bandstand where in the script Dick Clark asks her if she is from New York and she responds: 

“I was born in Detroit, and I’m a famed high school dropout.” 

Madonna unleashed on the screenwriter, explaining that the scene was entirely fabricated: 

“I was born in Bay City Not Detroit. And i did not drop out of high school in fact I went to University Of.Michigan. Why would Universal Studios want to make a movie about me based on a script that is all lies??”

While that is true, the supremely awkward thing is that you can view that actual episode of American Bandstand where she said verbatim what the screenwriter put in her script. She responded by likely using one of those old timey ab workout bands for six hours and then deleting her initial posts, then let forth with a bunch of no doubt romanticized bullshit undermining the fact that she was probably a hooker: 

“Here I am the same age as my daughter. Living in an abandoned synagogue in Queens. A broke ass dancer. With Big Dreams! Learning how to play guitar. Taking any job i could find. Living on one dollar a day. Praying that someone would discover me and believe in me. The Good old days.”

You know how to play the guitar? Please release a video immediately so you may be widely lampooned for good reason. Clearly Madonna is unhappy with this script. Her attempt to smear the writer backfired. You’ve got to wonder if there’s a scene where she blows an A&R guy for a studded belt and 90 minutes of studio time.

The only logical assumption is that everything in this movie is completely factually accurate. You can either choose to believer her or the person who is not a proven liar. It might be worth checking out if it’s ever made, no word on whether Dame Judy Dench has signed on to play the current iteration. You have to be smart or sober to be a good liar. Which is it not? 

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