The Grossening of Kim Zolciak

Kids of horrible celebrity parents don’t deserve anything but total sympathy, if not a kidnapping to a remote location where their shameless self-promoting parents can never find them. They can be raised by hot French au pairs. Bill Gates? C’mon, you did very well on malaria and the UNCF. Let’s do this rescued celebrity kid island next. Bezos can fund the boy half of the island.

Kim Zolciak’s four year old son was bitten by a dog, requiring two hours of emergency surgery. Zolciak’s first move was to post to Instagram to appraise the general public of how horrible it’s all been for her, complete with an invasive picture of her little boy on gurney. If she were a bigger name, a nurse would’ve sold the story to TMZ. Zolciak’s aware this cynical publicity opportunity’s entirely on her  It’s worth calling out Zolciak’s cynical post to document where reality show whoredom ends and real world despicableness begins.

Zolciak named her preschool aged son as @KashBiermann because she had previously set up his own social media account to which she’s attempting to drive traffic. It takes a great mother to remember to grow her baby boy’s Instagram following during a medical crisis. Zolciak thanked “her medical team” which seems like an odd thing for a football housewife to have. Maybe a yoga instructor or an interior decorator. Was your four year old son bit in his ass implants?

It’s lighthearted prostitution to share your fake tits and your teen daughter’s fake tits and some adorable family photos to the emotionally retarded cephalopods who make up your fan base. Not as cool to use a preschooler bit by a dog as a mean to garner personal attention. It’s likely even Kim Kardashian wouldn’t pull the trigger on that level of depravity. Do you realize what it means to be sub-Kim Kardashian on the empathy scale?

Zolciak noted she wouldn’t be able to make it to Watch What Happens Live that evening, but assured her fans she’d make up for it. Provided there’s enough Bondo remaining in the tank to seal her cracks. This injured kid of yours is really dampening your numbers. If you can’t document ongoing rabies treatment out of this, it’s a net loss. @kids are so selfish.

Kroy Biermann, if you were a man, you’d put the kibosh on this kiddy exploitation.

_{Photo credit: Kim Zolciak/Instagram}