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April 7, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson | 0 Comments
Congratulations to Kim Kardashian. The porn star is celebrating the ten-year anniversary of her big break. Vivid released Kim Kardashian, Superstar on March 21, 2007. Now we have the numbers. They’ll make you question the person sitting next to you. And humanity.
Vivid is now referring to March 2017 as Kim K. Sex Tape Month. Parents will explain the significance of Kim K. Sex Tape Month to their children. It will make more sense than Kwanzaa. E! began developing Keeping Up With the Kardashians shortly after Superstar’s release. KUWTK introduced us to the startlingly bland subculture of Armenian prostitutes. It created a simultaneous world shortage of silicon and black athlete sperm.
Superstar has been watched 210M times across streaming and DVD over the past ten years. If you purchased the DVD hard copy, you know what needs to be done. The sex tape has generated over $100M dollars. Spikes in viewership occurred over other American milestones worthy of their own months. These include Kim’s marriage and divorce to Kris Humphries, her first outings with Kanye West, her Paper Magazine unctuous haunches, and her Paris robbery.
Kardashian made multiple attempts outshine her former cohort Paris Hilton before the release of Superstar. Nothing worked. According to former InTouch Weekly editor Kevin Dickson:
We tried to get her to fuck Nick Lachey so she could be a celebrity girlfriend. They went to dinner somewhere in the North Valley and we had paparazzi there. But our paparazzi told all the other paparazzi. It was a mess.
Dickson recalls the moment Ray J began fishing around the sex tape:
Kim denied it and denied it and she was denying and crying at the same time. Then she calmed down. When [Vivid] talked money with her, she started talking [to me] more frequently again.
The rest is history. It’s not exactly the same origin story as Standard Oil but the opening sequence to There Will Be Blood serves as a proper visual metaphor for both. Kardashian got what she wanted. You can choose to change the channel. Though she’s on all of them, so maybe turn it off and visit a place where there is no Kardashian footprint. A library comes to mind. Also a blood donation center.
Photo credit: Vivid