Kendall Jenner Sycophants

Kendall Jenner is by far the most talented Kardashian. She’s devoid of human spirit, but she is good looking and isn’t saddling around a bottle of ketchup that’s been injected into her glutes by her mother, that counts for something. This isn’t a John, Paul, Ringo, George situation. They’re all dumb. It’s more like which ant would you smoosh last. 

Jenner was paid an exorbitant amount of money to host a few parties at Coachella by coke heads who went to prestigious colleges and dropped out. Their medical patent owning parents yelled at them. Joke is on you, the trust is written in gold. Also, that’s reflected in your ticket prices. Get a life. 

While hosting the parties, Jenner was allowed to be interviewed by a few journalists who were given free passes to Coachella to slog around in the desert and ultimately become jealous of Kendall Jenner who was living it up in an air conditioned tent and thinking about which rapper would blow out her butthole tonight. According to TMZ, which has become as credible as any other mainstream news source but more honest about their intentions: 

“Our Kendall sources tell us the model’s got several interviews lined up when she hits up events at the festival … but questions must be submitted in advance. Everyone interviewing Kendall will have a hard rule … no direct or indirect mention of her failed Pepsi ad. There are consequences for outlets that get sneaky — Kendall will be immediately pulled from the interview and the outlet will forever be persona non grata.”

Seems like there’s an easy solution to this dilemma, hire an easily replaceable writer to ask her about the incredibly weird Pepsi ad and also about her sister’s porno an keep hammering the questions until you get kicked out. Are we pretending these people are journalists or that Kendall Jenner can do an interview? Which is it because it can’t be both. One of these two entities needs to lose their jobs immediately. Let’s say it’s the twink in the rim glasses and the dumpy chick from Yale because Jenner is going to keep doing her nondescript thing. 

If you went to Coachella you lose, put an ice pack on it. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}