Katie Price Committed to Natural Look

Bruce Jenner cries when he sees Katie Price because she was the woman in the picture he handed the doctor before going under with the words, “Make me look like her.” They got pretty close.

Katie Price is thirty-eight, though you’d be hard pressed to find a part on her body in the double digits. The British roundabout turned herself into a mini marketing queen by being one of the first on the island to delve into the new world of acquiring enormous tits, fucking married famous guys, and sharing it all on scandal rags and eventually social media accounts. First is everything in this business. Unless and until somebody TMZ hero banner worthy fucks you and you take pictures. Both is ideal.

Among other products that it makes no sense for Katie Price to be legitimately selling, she pushes nutritional products to housewives who believe a protein shake will give them enormous tits and a handsome soccer player’s cock in their twat by 8pm. It would be more or less amusing if she didn’t push some reasonable numbers.

Price has recently taken up a stance against her fake titted competition like Kim Kardashian who airbrush the shit out of their posted photos. Price stands on the rock of integrity, claiming what you see online is what you see offline. 

“I don’t like big bums so that’s not for me. But a lot of the young girls they look online and you know they do airbrush pictures. When I do my photo calls they are un-airbrushed – it is what it is. I stand there and do my press calls and say, ‘This is me’. Even if people do slate me saying I’m face-tuned or whatever, so what, I can still stand there in my underwear or in next to nothing and know that I don’t look different to the picture.”

A solid reminder to shush the surgically deformed British woman you’re fucking. Also, claiming you don’t doctor your photos after doctoring your entire body seems relatively close to empty. Kim Kardashian is not a standard for anything outside of the merchandising realm, in which case she’s a veritable Andrew Carnegie. 

As the field of shameless weird-faced aging social media hand bra specialists continues to traffic jam, expect more and more infighting. There’s a tipping point at which too many hens under one roof will lead to a Sam Peckinpah bloody chicken shootout. Things could ugly. Uglier. Keep your eyes on the enormous fake tits and remember to tell your mom thank you on Mother’s Day.

_{Photo Credit: Splash News}