Heineken Ad Unites Adversaries Over Pissy Beer (VIDEO)

Heineken is following in the footsteps of Pepsi by getting political in a new ad part of the #OpenYourWorld campaign. They couldn’t afford Kendall Jenner. Instead we have outspoken randoms with divisive political opinions. Unlike Jenner, they don’t have the power to stop police brutality with a carbonated beverage. But they are still insufferable. Imagine the Chevy ad pretend dupes in the warehouse but now they have Guy Ritchie movie accents.

The almost five-minute spot pits Central Casting liberals and conservatives against each other in a Saw-like environment. Except unfortunately they aren’t forced into a vat of hypodermic needles. They divulge their differences after meeting in an empty warehouse. Political issues such as gender stereotypes and global warming are discussed over carbonated asparagus-laced cat piss at a new co-constructed bar. Maybe in the next ad spot they’ll put that winning teamwork to use in building their coffins.

The one-dimensionality of these characters is almost inspirational. The conservatives are Neo-Nazis. A feminist black woman looks like a gender-neutral barista who washes her hair with female ejaculate. The odd couples discover that similarities trump differences. In real life the gender-neutral barista would get high and hold a drum circle mourning leaves that fall off trees. The skinheads would shoot up a mosque. Heineken might be lauded for their effort in contrast to Pepsi. But both are lazy attempts at capitalizing off of a partisan political environment marked by people of all stripes who no longer read or learn before virtue signaling. At least Kendall looked fuckable. And hypothetically speaks real English.

_{Photo credit: YouTube}