Erika Jayne Big Spender

Erika Jayne has a solid career which consists of being married to a really rich elderly lawyer and sometimes releasing songs and making an ass of herself on reality shows. She’s done Dancing with the Stars and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, making her a veritable icon in the failed porn star community. The 45 year old Jayne recently said she spends about $40,000 per month on her appearance. If she were an NBA player, this would be the worst contract in the league: 

“I have a lot going on in my life. You just make it work. ‘It’s a lot. Maybe $40,000 a month on clothes, shoes and accessories.” 

By ‘accessories’ do you mean a prostate milker for your geriatric husband? Jayne has a horrendous new single called XXPEN$IVE which occasionally gets played at Hell’s Kitchen peep shows and gay bars catering to the Bugchasing crowd. A few of her songs have made it to the top of the Billboard Dance Club list, the criteria being the song must force mice locked in a cage together to claw each other’s eyeballs out. She may be doing schtick to live up to her image as a brash gold digging cunt, but it’s not all that hard to spend $1,300 a day on clothes and jewelry, especially if you’re incredibly uninteresting, lack any substantive hobbies, quest for knowledge or self improvement, and are willing to lick old balls. 

If she’s lying, it’s lame. If she’s telling the truth, it’s lamer. Excessive consumerism isn’t something one should be proud of. It would be like bragging that you believe everything you read in the paper. People used to lie about how much they donate to charity. Now it’s how much they spend on shoes and how they’re in the abortion club. Everything’s backwards, yet with the advances of modern feminism rich old dudes will continue to bag dumb young tail. 

Photo Credit: Instagram