Ben Affleck Drunk Dad Of The Year

Drunk dads are the best. Especially when your dad’s Batman. The paps recently caught Ben Affleck hanging out with Jennifer Garner and their two and a half kids. He pulled out the good wig. Garner’s given up. Nobody wants 13 Going On Mom Shaped 44. The two were set to divorce in 2015, but nothing’s happened yet.

Now that Affleck is out of rehab maybe he won’t come home with an exhausted dick.  Too much fucking is for kids. Like too much beer and weed. The older you get, the less you can handle fun. That’s why God invented marriage. According to a publicity release E! blindly interchanges with journalism sources: 

He is in a good place. He is very focused on staying on track and being healthy [and goes to] therapy a few times a week in L.A. He loves his kids more than anything and wants to be a great dad, a great role model. Ben and Jen are getting along well. They are very supportive of each other. They have a good arrangement where they co-parent together and make decisions together regarding the kids as well as their professional commitments. They are very good at putting the family before anything else. When one of them works, the other steps in and takes over parenting duties. It works well for them.

Dad of the Year publicly humiliated Garner while accepting his Oscar for Argo in 2013. He thanked her for standing by his side when he wore Blake Lively like a hat. After Argo he fucked the nanny. Garner will stay with him because she’s a die-hard Christian. Her relationship with Jesus was already tested after her first divorce. Now to stay out of hell she has to fuck Affleck for life. God stole her career and dignity but not her adulterer.

Affleck might stop drinking. He won’t stop cheating. The repercussion for cheating in Hollywood is getting applause for when you repent. The Internet is praising Batdrunk for these family photos. He persevered through getting to have random sex with multiple women. He also got to drink himself into a coma for his entire adult life. I don’t want to use the word “brave,” but brave.

Affleck and Garner still live on the same property. They might get back together, who knows. You know the surveillance cameras have picked up some crazy shit. 

_{Photo credit: Splash News}