Ask Tyler: My Boyfriend Cheats

Tyler: I caught my boyfriend cheating. There is no doubt, I saw it on his phone and there is no question. I have not said anything or done anything. In my mind I am done in my heart I think about all the years and the love.  

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Why the fuck can’t people form a question any more? It’s a Kardashians over Jeopardy culture. 

Here’s more shit you don’t want to hear, so you’ve come to the right place. Every boyfriend who can cheat, will cheat. Dumpy loser boyfriend, fifty-fifty. Your hot boyfriend who you notice girls hitting on? One hundred-percent. Every guy is somewhere on that continuum. 

Ask yourself the following questions:

Does your boyfriend treat you well?

Does your boyfriend treat you like he loves you?

Do you wish you were with some other guy other than your boyfriend?

If you answered yes, yes, no – confront him, well up one croc tear on your right cheek, but stay with your boyfriend. If you answer anything different from yes, yes, no then break up with him. Not because he cheated but because you should be with a man who treats you well, loves you and you shouldn’t be constantly thinking about an upgrade. Most girls break up with a man who cheats and the next guy they meet cheats again. Men have an urge for strange that is stronger than any other feeling in their life. You say you love Jesus but you hate how God made men. That’s racist. As long as he treats you right, stick it out with him. Fairy tale love is for children and the adult institutionalized and miserable.

Every girl wants to believe she’s got the one guy who doesn’t cheat. It’s not mathematically possible. About as authentic as the number of guys your girlfriend told you she fucked before she met you. She’s lying. You’re lying. If you were monkeys they’d have Latin scientific names for your behavior that didn’t get people so emotionally charged. A “B-” is a great grade for boyfriends. You know the chicks looking for the “A” grade. They’re super lonely.