Aaron Hernandez Tributes Pouring In

Heartfelt tributes to obvious murderer Aaron Hernandez are still trickling in after his appropriately creepy death. Hernandez was reportedly found in his cell with the door blocked off, his finger cut, and the bible verse John 3:16 scrawled in blood on his forehead. It’s very elaborate and requires excellent penmanship. Hernandez also has an uncommonly small forehead. Aaron could have done anything he set his mind to: 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

It’s tough to break down the cryptic postings of psychotic murderers. Maybe Hernandez believes he’s Jesus, maybe he’s asking for forgiveness. Maybe he’s just high on bath salts. Who gives a shit, he’s dead, we don’t have to deal with it anymore. In killing himself, Hernandez rendered his victims unable to collect any civil assets because the case was in appeal at the time of his death. Don’t look for his wife to kick down any of the loot, she’s obviously been in on everything. 

Most athletes and entertainers handled the situation diplomatically on social media, while others bade farewell to their dead pal. Hernandez having achieved the ultimate status symbol trifecta in such circles of murdering people and almost getting away with it before being involved in a slightly conspiratorial looking death.

Former teammate Mike Pouncey took to Instagram, the de facto open mic for eulogies: 

“Through thick and thin right or wrong we never left each other’s side. Today my heart hurts as I got the worse news I could have imagined. It was just a day ago we shared our last convo. I will forever miss you and love you bro. we will meet again rest easy!”

Are you admitting that you’re going to hell dude? It’ admirable to have your friend’s back in the face of adversity such as a DUI, some sort of mental breakdown involving nudity. Yet in this case it would seem anyone willing to look at the evidence would believe Hernandez to be a bloodthirsty murderer. Making matters even more uncomfortable, free agent tackle Xavier Nixon tweeted: 

“If you don’t like the fact I want my homie to rest in peace you can pull up and get your ass beat.”

You have to pick your moments to publicly encourage violence. You picked wrong. Actually fuck it. Tell them to roll up and cap their asses. That’s what the homie would have done, may he rest in peace. It’s a wonder Florida continues to be a hotbed of crime with this culture of threatening those who disagree. People are now nine percent less likely to talk shit to a tight end who they spill a drink on. He didn’t die in vain. Start planning the statue. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}