The Brides Wore White

Orange Is the New Black writer Lauren Morelli remembered that she hated having sex with men not long after her six figure straight wedding. It’s probably worth visiting your musecage before the reception deposit becomes non-refundable. Does dick seem icky to you? I knew we should’ve used digital invites. 

Morelli claims she had a revelation during the writing and filming of the sex scene between Taylor Schilling and Laura Prepon in Season 1. Most people simply masturbated and moved on. She ditched her husband and turned her life over to chicks. You can’t make a sexually fluid omelette without cracking a few eggs. 

Morelli came full circle on her girl on girl happiness by marrying Samira Wiley, one of the stars of her lesbian prison show. Also, she asked somebody to make her look as much like Taylor Schilling as possible. Both of these seem like impulsive ideas. One potentially pathological. The brides wore white to symbolize the purity of their affection for one another. And to remind people that virgin brides haven’t existed since people laughed at the idea that there’d be interracial same sex couples in the future.

You can imagine a few complications with a lesbian wedding. First and foremost, who argues for the need to have beer and liquor? Likely nobody. Enjoy your wine. It will be interesting to see who they both marry next.