Bar Refaeli Quickly Pregnant

Stories about supermodels being pregnant seem less immediate when you’re quite certain you’re not fucking supermodels. Women find themselves wrapped up in the reproductive cycles of other women. Men find themselves secretly hoping their state doesn’t outlaw abortions. You can’t march in the street, you look like a pansy. Maybe an anon PayPal. You didn’t get to fuck Bar Refaeli, why is this your problem?

The Israeli model is pregnant again only seven months after giving birth to her first child. This rings reminiscent of Tori Spelling who repeatedly reproduced while the perineum stitches were still fresh. Tearing a woman’s sutures while looking into that Spelling maw never made much sense until you saw her husband cry a ton on television. You don’t get the vagina you want, you get the vagina you deserve.

Refaeli seems to reproduce in time with tax evasion charges and business scandals. Israel places a super premium on making more Israelis. They’re badly outnumbered on all sides by people who pray for their destruction whilst having unprotected sex grass on the field age and up.

For Refaeli, a round belly is literally a get out of jail free card if you promise to send the kid to Sunday school. Also, promise they’ll do their two years of military service unlike yourself who skipped out on the international model deferment plan and actually called it that. That’s why Refaeli keeps posting pregnancy selfies to Instagram. It’s legal maneuvering. If some fetishists get off in the process, that’s an auxiliary benefit. Mazel tov.

Photo Credit: @barrefaeli/Instagram