Rebecca Romijn and Blac Chyna Want You to Pay for Their Pap Smears (VIDEO)

Funny or Die has never shied away from a national healthcare push. Presumably under the “Die” mandate of the HBO-Turner-Will Ferrel and buddies owned venture. Like many entertainment outlets and Judd Apatow, they keep insisting there’s a hilarious way to do political messaging in the context of satire. There is. This is not it.

The video premise is that hot chicks you want to cover in your man cum need gynecological care to keep from being nasty. Who could disagree? That’s when they slip in the fact they want you to pay for it. The party music stops as you recall that you’re not really fucking these women.

It’s hard to make speculums sexy. The suggestion that men are denying basic healthcare services to women isn’t inherently chuckle worthy. Isn’t this really about government funding for abortions? And aren’t you being paid 100x the national average income to play pretend for a few months a year? 

A video featuring beleaguered safety net candidates needing a helping hand would not receive millions of views. People turn away from the indigent to rich women talking about their tits with some rapidity. That doesn’t conversely make those Brentwood celebrities valid representatives for the downtrodden. You could argue they trivialize the true charity cases.

Republicans detest abortion. They don’t hide that. They wear pins and buttons and give speeches and hold up pictures of dead fetuses and openly pray that Jesus destroys Planned Parenthood with a lightning bolt. When in power as duly elected, they will be the lightning bolt. They can’t stop abortion, but they can cut federal funding. According to Funny or Die, this is tantamount to watching women slowly rot from breast cancer and yeast infections. If you’ve got some other information, why is Blac Chyna not saying it? She seems like a capable spokeswoman for gynecological health.

Here’s a funny video. Wealthy celebrities assign their large portion of SAG’s billion dollars in annual residuals to Planned Parenthood and it’s suddenly overflowing in abortion cash. Abortions on demand, and a caffe latte and black licorice bites while you wait. Utopia is ours to grab. It won’t happen on YouTube.

_{Photo credit: Funny or Die}