Pamela Anderson Pens Love Poem to Julian Assange

Girls pen sappy odes to love as emotionally overwrought pubescents. It’s a sign the hormones are flowing. You may change genders in high school if you’re not totally impressed by your chromosomal selection or you’d simply like to use a dirtier bathroom. By college most women accept that they’re not innately blessed with the art of poetry. As many men must admit they never truly shredded on guitar. Many women continue on regardless with their shoddy verse. Maya Angelou and Pamela Anderson come to mind.

Anderson penned an open love poem to Julian Assange of WikiLeaks fame. It’s reminiscent of Kobe Bryant’s love letter to basketball though notably less self-indulgent. Assange has been holed up in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London for a while now as the Ecuadorians try to solve arcane British eviction laws. Anderson has visited Assange on multiple occasions with vegan sandwiches and a side of albino meat, if her verses are to be taken literally.

Julian Assange is the most intelligent, interesting, and informed man in existence.
Yes- I think he’s quite sexy.
He has tremendous strength and stamina- though vulnerable.
Hard to imagine him that way – as capable as he is.
But, he is up against the biggest super powers in the world.

As with most of Robert Frost’s early work, Anderson’s poem addresses Assange’s outstanding rape charges in Sweden. She cautions innocent until proven guilty. On a rape charge? Don’t bring that heresy back to The States. Anderson ignores the fact that Assange refuses to return to Sweden where he may be found guilty. 

Thank you to my hero’s at
Wikileaks,
and of course –
I will always stand by
My
Julian …

Love,
Pamela

Somebody’s got a crush on a famous guy locked in embassy with no other options for sex. Fucking guys sheltered in diplomatic establishments could be your thing. Use it as a filter on Match. Bet you slay in South America.