Mama June Reveals Weight Loss

Mama June Shannon revealed her massive weight loss on From Not to Hot. She used to weigh 460 pounds. Correcting a severe failure is not an accomplishment. It’s like bragging that you’re no longer an abusive alcoholic. Your kids probably care.

The only reason she lost weight is that the collective idiocy of American television viewers has provided her with enough money to temporarily get off of welfare and pay to have her stomach organ cleaved in two. Apart from being disgusting, it’s not much different than someone bragging about dropping eight ounces after dropping a deuce at Denny’s.

While June is noticeably thinner, she remans an undesirable woman whose boyfriend molested her daughter. Most people can spot a pedophile a mile away, but not when their blood sugar is spiking after downing a 2-liter of Squirt as an aperitif. Apart from organ failure, this state of refractory can lead to wooziness, a lack of mental function, and passing out in your smelly recliner. That’s typically when the molesters make their move. Just ask the Sandusky men.

The show is called From Not to Hot. There is no armpit of this country, no trailer park, rest stop, dive bar, or cattle auction in which Mama June is now hot. If you find her attractive, you’re probably fixing to molest her daughters. Since this ambulatory toad has no self awareness that she’s a popinjay for elitist northerners and their confirmation biases, she’ll probably take to staying out late at night for shoddily produced TV segments. The kids will be at home with the new sitter who comes highly recommended by the guy who cuts your grass while out on parole. Less gross is not the same as hot. 

_{Photo Credit: CNN}