Lea Michele Not Taking Any Chances

Lea Michele’s sophomore album finally has a release date. If you’re in the micro demographic, you’ll be receiving a Free Standing Insert in your Target mailer. For Michele, this will be a very personal album about love and loss, as written by people she’s never met and pre-recorded in a pale guy’s Culver City interior office. Expect an auto-tuned requiem for Dead Cory Monteith with enough upbeat cadence to play at house parties.

I’m in a very positive place in my life, but of course, love has its ups and downs, and there’s a few of those breakup songs on the album. For me, my music is my time to be honest, so be careful dating a singer or you might get Taylor Swifted. There you go, then there’s a song about you out there.

Nice Taylor Swift drop. Maybe more reticence on the word “honest” for turnkey dropped off material. Even the kid who hands-in the online purchased term paper shuffles his feet a bit and can’t look at his professor.

To promote the album Michele decided to take near naked photos of herself in various hotel rooms where she stays to presumably take near naked photos of herself. Consider how unlikely it is Michele stayed in your precise room right before you got there before you start smelling any hotel room bed sheets.

Michele claims she was inspired by celebrity photographer Mario Testino’s “Towel” series featuring actresses and models in nothing but a bath towel. This is why she’s not allowed produce her own ideas. Though if you have to fall back on one tired idea, the tired idea of naked selfies isn’t the worst. This ultimately led to being spooned by Ellen on her talk show in a bed brought out on stage because Ellen’s producers love shtick and providing Ellen a chance to smell young women’s necklines. It’s a soft rape, but you’re underwhelming future album sales just got slightly less underwhelming. Whoring used to be more visually compelling.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram/ Lea Michele}