Katy Perry Valiant Breakup Hair Cut

Women like to cut their hair after a breakup. Guys mostly try to fuck their previous girlfriends. I can tell you which costs less. Both will get your friends talking.

The shearing is symbolic of the rending of the relationship. No more Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry wedding day fantasies. I’v stored mine in my homo chest under the bed. The hair chop is a perfect celebrity gossip press redirect. Who wants to talk about their seventh failed long term relationship? Besides everybody on basic cable. The only search term more popular than “breakup” in women’s magazines is “hair”. “Shoes” are third, followed by “that cunt stole my boyfriend”.

Katy Perry seems pretty cool and attractive and has big breasts. Clearly the first one of these can’t be true. Men will hang onto a woman with big tits and a fun personality with more gusto than they would driftwood after being scuttled mid-Atlantic. Russell Brand blamed Perry for pushing him back onto the skag. Brand is a total tool, but even a broken man is right twice a day. Katy Perry is hiding something. If it’s a dick I’m going to scream like a kid in a haunted house.

_{Photo Credit: Snapchat/ Katy Perry}