Kam Chancellor Miffed

NFL players will be banned next season from jumping over the line of scrimmage to block a field goal even though that is the intuitive thing to do when playing football. It would be like banning guys from trying to tackle the quarterback. We’re only halfway into that one, three-quarters for Tom Brady. It turns out teams had figured out that when a dude hurls himself over the line, the best countermove is to flip him over in mid air so he lands on his head, killing him and rendering it impossible for him to keep blocking field goals. 

Seahawks safety Kam Chancellor has blocked at least one kick this way in roughly seven hundred thousand tries. He took to Instagram to post a photo of that one time and express his displeasure with the new rule. Apparently he’s a real adrenaline junky who’s really into trans prostitutes:  

“1.Helmet To Helmet (Accidentally) ? 2.Leaping The Line ? 3. What’s next??????? #itssohardtosaygoodbye #TheKidsLoveIt #WeAreEntertainers #wheresthefanappreciation”

The NFL will also now be penalizing “egregious hits” which are simply legal football plays that are well executed. The league has a problem. Football is already incredibly specialized and ridden with a byzantine rule system. Due to the fact that everyone now knows playing football is bad for your brain, and that the NFL tried to cover it up, they’re now overcompensating by pretending to give a shit.

Porn where the guy wears a condom and asks for consent to go do down on the chick is not quality entertainment. The league fucked up. They’ve now admitted that there’s a fatal flaw. People like football because it’s dangerous. That’s why Americans invented it. If you take away the danger it’s soccer.

It was a good run. If you’re one of the 31 billionaires who owns an NFL team or 360,000 alcoholics who own stock in the Packers it might be time to divest. At some point somebody’s going to assembly 500 or so brain damaged NFL veterans in a warehouse and make like The Walking Dead. Congress will act within nine years. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}