Jenny Slate Breaks Up With Chris Evans Who Doesn’t Notice

Here’s the thing about fucking the movie star you’re working with and calling it a relationship. You’re going to end up in People magazine way over talking it. People who’ve never had real jobs don’t quite understand that everybody who travels for work or toils long late hours with coworkers of the opposite sex eventually fucks one another. There’s no feeling involved. It’s like going to Denny’s when you’re hungry after midnight.

Jenny Slate worked with Chris Evans on the film Gifted, about a man raising his prodigy niece and fighting for her custody. So, Jodie Foster’s Little Man Tate but with a less masculine lead. During production, Evans charm won the recently divorced Slate over and they started fucking and became a thing.

Naturally, the filming came to a conclusion and the relationship started to fizzle. Slate blames it on Evans being super famous and living in a world at a speed way too fast for her. Meaning, when they got back to Los Angeles she realized that an endless line of hot models wanted to fuck her boyfriend and he didn’t hate that idea. 

Male entertainers and performers exist in two states. The first is broke and depressed and seriously considering gay porn to pay the rent. The second is successful and arrogant and fucking everything that moves. There is no happy middle ground. The addict who moderately controls his drug use and leads a healthy family life and becomes regional sales manager at work and hero of his company softball team doesn’t exist.

Don’t be fooled by the war machine propaganda. Captain America is not here to defend, he’s here to fuck.