Hollywood Comes to the Rescue of Leggings Girls

You knew it would it would take some extraordinary turn of events to rip palatial living Twitter warriors away from their laser beams of 140 character anti-Trump truth. Done. Three girls were denied boarding a flight from Denver to Minneapolis, if you believe such a route exists, due to wearing nothing but leggings on their bottom halves. 

Shannon Watts, a feminist activist and mom whose kids secretly hate her, happened to be on location. Coincidence. Or perhaps she hears the siren call of sexist wardrobe injustice and appears magically. Watts Tweeted her outrage to United Airlines who she claimed was both anti-woman and sexualizing children.

As the mother of 4 daughters who live and travel in yoga pants, I’d like to know how many boys @United has penalized for the same reason.

Yoga pants is right up there with abortion for women’s rights activists in terms of holy grails. There’s some obsession over leggings that ranks it neck and neck with not having to pay to not have your stupid boyfriend’s baby. Watts called it Leggings-Gate because like most modern activists, she lacks imagination. An entire array of celebrities responding to the trending airlines misogyny. 

Patricia Arquette took a break from her effort to have the Hollywood sign replaced with a colossus of Rhodes type statue of her deceased tranny brother to start a Twitter war on United Airlines:

Leggings are business attire for 10 year olds. Their business is being children.

Literally any word could be the first word of that sentence. Assume she was drunk. She’s assuming leggings are the business attire of children. I can tell you which assumptions rings truer.

Chrissy Teigen added a story that centered around herself and being mostly naked. So every Chrissy Teigen story ever:

I have flown united before with literally no pants on. Just a top as a dress. Next time I will wear only jeans and a scarf.

That’s not even a humble brag. It’s so self-serving without a specific point that it has no descriptor yet. Sarah Silverman and Seth Rogen piled on for feminists and the soft men who service them.

United Airlines clarified that while literally there are almost no rules for how cheap and camel toe baring passengers want to dress for flights, it’s alright by them. These three girls happened to be traveling on free United employee comped tickets. United informs employees that their friends and family traveling on the “no-revenue” passes have to be dressed in a respectable manner since they represent the airlines. People who’ve been traveling on these passes for decades all recall having to dress properly for flights through the years. None of the above peeled back their moral attack on those who would deny prepubescents the basic right of Spandex sheathing as outerwear.

Dressing your girls in skin tight clothes then calling out people who admonish their dress as sexists and perverts seems counterproductive to the common goal. Getting to Minneapolis. You don’t want to miss a minute. Stop living in your yoga pants. We all know they’re sweat pants you’ve decided can be worn to Starbucks.