Hillary Clinton Physical Graffiti

Feminists maintain the press’ preoccupation with Hillary Clinton’s wardrobe during the election represented a sexist double standard. Which assumes that a male candidate dressed like a Teletubby would not have been ridiculed. Also, male candidates basically wear the same thing every day, a dark suit with a blue or red tie. There’s nothing out of the extremely ordinary to mock. Hillary Clinton looked like a member of Parliament. Not the government, the band. She also could have avoided unwanted commenting by basically wearing the same dull dark suit every day. The DNC gave her an Amex Black, may as well take advantage. 

Hillary appeared at the Conference for Professional Businesswomen epically rocking a leather jacket and floral shirt like she’s in Led Zeppelin. Isn’t the moniker Professional Businesswomen redundant? Surely nobody does business as a hobby. How would that even work? At that point you’re just an “artist.” 

Normally someone’s apparel wouldn’t signify too much about them outside of whether or not they made a bad decision that day or are on the autism spectrum. But this is someone who meets with a political consultant over their choice of earrings and sandwich. Is turkey too Midwestern? Is Italian too bold? She’s been a hippy, a southerner, an elitist Manhattanite, a Chicagoan, a center leftist, a center rightist, a trailblazing feminist, and someone who has no record whatsoever of helping the feminist cause. She’s a chameleon.

What is she saying with this new leather jacket? Hard to tell. You’ll probably see a lot of CNN articles pop up about how she’s tellin’ it like it is. The next Richard Pryor. Look for a few clumsy rock and roll references and frequent use of the words Buster, Bub, and Honey. I love Bruce Mellencamp! The prospect makes you want to freak out and stab yourself with a fork.

What’s clear is Hillary Clinton is not going away. By this time next year she might be getting a barbed wire tattoo with Pam Anderson. It’s so awkward when robots try and act human or when a dog starts humping a tree. They have no idea how they’re coming off. Good luck with your professional business, you amazing women, you basically just gave Trump a standing ovation.

_{Photo Credit: Time}