Hailey Baldwin Isn’t Really Pissing

Hailey Baldwin is super famous model for reasons nobody can explain with a straight face. She’s the fifth hottest girl in her family. Nobody’s heard her speak. That’s as close as you may come to unraveling the mystery.

Baldwin’s lead image for a bedroom shoot in Inprint magazine featured the Instagram audience star squatted on the can with her panties around her ankles. A little peekaboo at her tinkle time. Her fans quickly pointed out the toilet cover was down. This was cause enough to consume thousands of people’s next nineteen hours. 

Inprint’s founder and chief photo stylist, Megha Kapoor, jumped in to quell the growing outrage:

“I would never want to literally shoot her peeing, that’s super crass.”

Dammit, Kapoor. You have so much to learn about putting Inprint on the map. Or even making Inprint a real word. There’s no nobility points for faking a chick taking a leak. You’ve got a social media aged celebrity with the executive function of a beagle sitting on the shitter. What would Kris Jenner do?  It’s the same as Jack Horner. Reverse blumpkin or call Fantastic Sam’s and see if your old station is available.

Photo credit: Inprint magazine