Chelsea Clinton Justly Compensated

Bill and Hillary Clinton at some point decided they needed to have a kid to further their political careers. He then wistfully grinned and she cackled in delight as they drew up plans of world domination with their prop baby in tow. With their lack of passion for child rearing it’s no doubt their kid became a dud. Drifting from corporate handout gig to corporate handout gig, perhaps vaguely aware her six figure salary and six hour work week are a mere olive branch aimed at soliciting loopholes for white collar crime. The illuminati spawn equivalent of crashing on friends’ couches into your early forties while barely holding down a gig at AM-PM. 

Clinton was paid 600k a year by NBC for producing a handful of shoddily crafted “news segments” which it is rumored do not actually exist. She is currently on the board of media giant IAC Interactive, even though she does not have a degree or work experience in a related field. For suggesting what to order for lunch the days she appears, Clinton is compensated $50,000 per year and was granted approximately $300,000 in stock. These figures should be factored into the gender pay gap, a topic Clinton is fond of waxing on to people who are waiting for her to shut the fuck up so they can bribe her parents. 

Chelsea Clinton has now been hired by Expedia, chaired by the same guy who runs IAC Interactive, to join their board and occasionally chime in after decisions have already been cemented. Expedia has thirteen members on their board and they didn’t have an opening, so they added a new seat and now they have fourteen. Boards are almost always oddly numbered so someone can break the tie if need be. They don’t seem too concerned about her rocking the boat. Hunter Biden was gifted very similar opportunities and mostly decided to fuck his dead brother’s wife.

It’s estimated Chelsea Clinton will be paid another $300,000 in cash and Expedia stock options. Following the announcement, Expedia’s stock went up in value. Chelsea learned from the best. How to work a rigged system. When is someone going to get paid to lecture about worthless trust fund kids? Expedia, as if she books her own plane ticket. 

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}