Chainsmokers Making EDM Great Again

EDM is the perfect music genre for millennials. Men devoid of masculinity save for ironic beards and slogan wear press play on their expensive computerized music boards and emote to auto-tuned spoken word tracks. These kids used to surrender their milk money at school. Now they’re millionaires covered in the music industry trades as groundbreaking.

If Chainsmokers sounds close to pole smokers it’s because the duet of two dudes who love pressing play together hooked up with Gay Beethoven for a Chainsmokers/Coldplay combo single that broke all records for lyric video plays on YouTube. That’s where trainables can watch the words of less literate Dylans scribble by on the screen. Nine million views in 24 hours. People have a lot of free time on their hands. Also, nobody under 25 is watching TV and girls aren’t playing video games. We’re not getting dumb, simply more obvious.

If there’s any saving grace to these prancing reindeer of music artist males, it’s their label’s insightfulness to layer in Victoria’s Secret models like Martha Hunt into their music videos. Beard signaling. Clearly, they love girls. If you turn the sound down it’s still unbearable. This country may never win a war again.

_{Photo Credit: Forbes.comVictoria’s Secret}