Cash Me Ousside Girl on Minute 16 (VIDEO)

Andy Warhol had that quip about everybody being world famous for fifteen minutes in the future. With the onset of the social media age, it’s now a half season order of reality shows. Danielle Bregoli became media famous for being thirteen and dressing and talking like a 70’s TV ghetto whore on Dr. Phil. Her ‘cash me ousside’ ebonic taunt caught on as a Twitter meme. Now she’s in Hollywood shopping deals. How can you tell kids to stay in school with a straight face?

Bregoli is extremely precocious for a girl of thirteen completely lacking any formal education. Jodie Foster’s character in Taxi Driver would feel ashamed to know her. The tabloids uncovered a video of Danielle’s mom Barbara Ann whacking her daughter and dragging her across the floor by her hair. Danielle defended her mom:

I love my mother. Video was from years ago. We weren’t really fighting, just arguing. Video was edited to only show that part by my ex-best friend who is trying to get me to pay her money to not release old videos.

In short, the beating was a small part of the overall mother-daughter experience. Though worth noting, you’re thirteen and being extorted. Harvard loves to see shit like that on applications. A TMZ reporter tried to egg Danielle into admitting maybe her mom beats her but the trashy young teen pulled the old “if it was so bad, why am I still alive?”. Brilliant counter. 

Danielle Bregoli is the equivalent of the sports world’s drunk guy who runs on the field during the game. The networks have a policy not to show those guys on television. The same media companies that will soon give this moderately less unattractive Snooki her own series on basic cable. Will she kill herself or somebody else? We can only hope. I’m speaking now in the role of the TV executive. Also, every single viewer. And her mom.

_{Photo credit: TMZ}