A Day Without a Woman Survival Guide

What can be said about A Day Without a Woman other than chicks are shitty at picking out fonts. Also, wearing red before Memorial Day is somewhat gauche. Organizers are quick to note men are fully invited to participate. Less quick to explain their obvious absence from any of the creative.

You were warned several weeks ago that the nation’s largest minority group, women, also the nation’s largest majority group, would be taking a day off in protest. Like LeBron, the one time you get tickets to see the Cavs. The first instinct has to be panic. The second being to raise your hand and order the women back into the kitchen to make you a sandwich. There are five stage of grief. Only two when it comes to women looking to make up an elaborate excuse for a vacation day.

After the big Women’s March on Washington in January, upper middle class women with loose work hours and an intentional misunderstanding of how easy it is to get an abortion in blue states, decided to keep the calendar full with more protests. It’s the new coffee klatch. Which was the new racquetball. How many women can your full-size SUV fit? Let the shortest among us take the wheel. Lets practice chanting our demands on the way there. What are they again? 

If A Day Without an Immigrant boycott of two weeks ago is any indication, sympathetic news media will plant reporters in tight shots amid twenty screaming mimis and declare the civil action to be a huge success. Anticipate the interview with the lady who closed her homemade jade jewelry store for the day. Somebody find the g-spot on this movement and quick. The tranny stripper replacements are horrible.