Vogue Slims Down Ashley Graham

The March issue of Vogue is devoted to celebrating “all types” of women. In order to accomplish this, their cover features six super hot models and also Ashley Graham. The cover reads: 

“Women Rule! Fashion’s Fearless Females. The Beauty Revolution. No Norm is the New Norm.” 

That doesn’t make any semblance of sense, but imagine the cover of Men’s Life stating Men Rule! It would be mocked relentlessly, and with good reason. Of course that would never be necessary because most people assume it to be true.

It’s interesting that Vogue wants to celebrate chunky women, since they’ve taken great pains to make Ashley Graham look thinner. She’s the second one from the left, and the only one posing with her arm down, a mechanism to cover up her gunt and make her look thinner. Vogue also added a stripe to her shorts, again for slimming purposes. Also, look at the hand and arm grabbing her torso from the right side of the photo. They appear to be unnaturally long, putting even Chubbs from Happy Gilmore to shame. That’s because Vogue photoshopped Graham, and didn’t make it too difficult to catch. So which is it, do you really think fat chicks are awesome? If so, why artificially make them look thinner? Looks like you just called your own bullshit. Can we stop this ridiculous charade now? According to Graham: 

“Sixty-seven percent of the women in America wear a size 14 or larger. Sixty-seven percent. Maybe you could ignore those consumers before, but now, thanks to social media, they’re making their voices heard.” 

If true, that’s absolutely horrifying. So, if two thirds of American women are heavy, and the cover of Vogue features one fatty and six svelte women, how are they celebrating all body types? Thin women would be over-represented by more than 1,000 percent. Of course, nobody wants to buy a magazine full of heifers. Somehow Ashley Graham has become a token charitable write-off. Vogue just made complete assholes of themselves and in the process settled once and for all the vast hypocrisy of the body acceptance movement, but to be fair they’re just grasping at straws before someone cuts their lights off. Remember those SAT questions where they show you an orange, a radiator, a plum and a grapefruit? One of these things doesn’t belong. 

_{Photo Credit: Vogue}