Trump Bought Out Penile Tell All

Stereotypes are often stereotypes for a reason. You’ve no doubt heard your lesbian dog walker friend mumble something about Donald Trump’s micro penis, perhaps out of jealousy. A small one is better than nothing. Yet, it’s becoming readily apparent that Trump is rocking a two inch cod piece. There’s simply no other explanation for his behavior. Nobody secure in their manhood feels the need to print their name on buildings or incessantly boast past the age of seven. He’s also the first president who can’t drive. That will make you puff your chest out. 

Trump’s whore ex-wife and mistress Marla Maples had a literate person write a tell all book about Trump which was set to be published during the election. It never made it to print. How deeply in debt would you go to stop the world from realizing your dong is the size of a Cheeto? There’s a reason he hasn’t released his tax returns. Or his physical. We’re clearly looking at a baby carrot situation. It’s fine, no seriously, it’s big. Please don’t start a fucking war. 

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