Stella Maxwell and Kristen Stewart Seem Happy

Lesbians aren’t so different from you and me. Or not so different at all if you’re also a lesbian. Kristen Stewart became a lesbian a couple years ago when she looked in her closet and decided she was mostly there. She’s transitioned easily into the butch role as she’s always been filled with pointless rage. Also, she’s a veteran actress who can spot the superior role.

Stewart took her Victoria’s Secret model girlfriend out for Valentine’s Day lunch and a spa visit. Two packs of cigarettes were drawn down between the venues to ensure continued fit into the skinny black jeans. Stewart has quickly picked up all the mannerisms of a dude taking out his aerobics chick girlfriend but wishing he were elsewhere. Walking about six feet apart, staring askance, looking like she’s ready for a fight. Are you looking at my girl? I will throw down. My chest is out. It’s easier to tell since I have tits and no bra on.

The unwillingness of either model woman to look even close to their best in public is a clear sign of full-tilt lesbian. That and the way they keep licking each other’s vaginas in rooms lined with scented candles and Melissa Etheridge wall to wall. It’d be nice to assume Stewart is more calm and content now that she’s found her true self, but she still reeks of pissed and remote in every candid moment.

All Stewart wanted was that Beemer at sixteen. Was that too much to ask? I hope you’re happy. Michael Jordan smiled more when scoring.

_{Photo Credit: FameFlyNet}