Scarlett Johansson Still Not Quite Apologizing

Now that she’s split from yet another gay husband, Scarlett Johansson has time for course correcting the racial and gender thinking of the lesser evolved world. There’s a time for lecturing and there’s a time for apologizing. Any decent moralist is a dual threat.

Johansson’s been spinning in circles since criticism first appeared about her playing the role of Major Motoko in the screen version of the Japanese manga, Ghost in the Shell. She’s white. But it’s not her fault. Cultural appropriation charges have lingered since the casting announcement. The term “whitewashing” has been brought up repeatedly, which serves to remind the money people behind the film that they’re about to be rich.

Johansson commits ritualistic seppuku at the mention of her casting. Though she’s not turning down the prime time role or the fat check You don’t really need your duodenum it turns out. In her latest round of rationalizations, Johansson found a friend in the handy glass ceiling:

Diversity is important in Hollywood, and I would never want to feel like I was playing a character that was offensive. Also, having a franchise with a female protagonist driving it is such a rare opportunity. 

Diversity and scarcity of female protagonists in one interview response. Impressive social justice warrior judo. As is your ability to accept a gig you’d rail on anybody else in your same position for taking.

At one point, the Ghost in the Shell creator declared that the lead character wasn’t ever labeled specifically as Japanese or any specific ethnicity or race. Everybody immediately disregarded his statement as it completely killed a ton of opportunities for self-righteous race baiting. 

You can expect protests at the film release. Though Japanese people are pretty subdued, so likely white kids with killer Pokemon collections thanks to an allowance into their 30’s.