Mariah Carey Not Getting Great Workout Results

Mariah Carey continues to rehabilitate her public image after being kicked off the billionaire’s yacht. She’s chosen to engage in an array of completely unbelievable activities. Like pretending she’s a gym rat despite being chunkier than ever before and insisting that ass-less chaps dancing fiend Bryan Tanaka can’t keep his paws off her sex. She’s certainly got Tanaka trained well. Like a service animal. The guy’s on point when questioned:

“She saw something in me that I actually didn’t recognize at first, from that it was over.”

Something like your acting talent? Mariah’s a very alluring and sexual woman. Now again, without the smirk. 

Tanaka was recently promoted to Creative Director of the troupe. That’s either merited, romantic, or if he’s really fucking Carey, kind of illegal. The lack of griping from the rest of the dancers would imply they know the bit. The vain never age gracefully.

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