Clooney Having Batched Babies

While it is indeed troubling that the patriarch of the Duggar family full of child molesters will someday soon have two hundred grand children, let’s not negate the fact that women unable to naturally conceive are being pumped full of embryos at an alarming rate. These women are often educated professionals, but even when they’re total dunces they have enough money to provide for their septuplets. The technology is still in its infancy.

Right now, with the help of a small team of scientists and several hundred thousand dollars, women are able to give birth well into their forties. Ten years from now, hundred year old women could be popping out small forwards. Whether this will be good for the species is up in the air, but one thing is for certain, these test tube babies will not be hanging around outside the 7-11 smoking vape. In the short term, it could help deter the proliferation of country music and Fried Chicken Shell Tacos. 

George Clooney’s 39 year old wife Amal is pregnant with twins. The days of rich women having a single child are far behind us. 1.5, bet the over. Fucking your husband is a pain in the ass, I’m going to hit the cryo chamber and design a kid on the iPad, I’ve changed my mind on the eyelashes.

Clooney is a talented, socially conscious, and well proportioned man. His wife is a human rights lawyer who has represented Julian Assange. Basic science says the older these women get, the bigger the litter will be. Good. If Tina Fey wants to pop out a 12 pack at age 65 we’ll all be better off. If you work in one of these clinics, go with the heavy pour from now on. Seriously, blast away, we need to overcompensate for the last Sprint Cup. 

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