Bella Hadid Won Fashion Week

Breathless female bloggers love to employ the term “won” in headlines to describe some celebrity chick wearing a funky heart hat on Valentine’s. She won Valentine’s. It doesn’t make sense, unless you’ve never played sports and your dad not so secretly always wished you were a boy. 

Bella Hadid won New York Fashion Week. That’s not a superfluous endorsement. Hadid walked more runways in more goofy coats and ridiculously cut pants you could never wear in public than any other model. Ten in total. Given the nature of her high-end designer deals, she most certainly took home a shit ton of cash for being made up and trotted out like a breeder. Naturally, she cried, at every single show, including the big finale:

I don’t know if it’s just a very emotional week, but that [Oscar de l Renta] show has always been something really big to me. It’s such an iconic brand, and I’ve always looked up to the designers. I cried when I got the show in general, and then when I heard I was closing, I was at a loss for words.

This would be more stupid if it weren’t for half the Patriots and Falcons balling on Super Bowl Sunday. You’re 39. You throw a football aa your real life job. Fight it.

Bella Hadid’s success must be driving her older sister quite nuts. Blame Gigi Hadid’s increasingly skinny frame on her little sister’s repeated gold medal pulls. Imagine that fucking sibling rivalry. Like the Spinks brothers seeing who could spit more teeth in the ring. Only these chicks are competing in a business entirely based off looks. Celery sticks were a crutch. Once you’re down to six stone you’ll get picked ahead of your bitch sister. I heard she sleeps with the judges. Just kidding, they’re all gay. 

_{Photo credit: V Magazine}