SI Now Porn, Finally

It took a while for Sports Illustrated to fully convert from exclusive Muhammed Ali cover stories to foreign lingerie models barely covered in Costa Rican hooker thongs, but the eagle had landed. If you’d have told me SI would be a prime spank bank magazine even a few years ago, I would have agreed that I haven’t read their sports coverage in years, but I doubt they’d be a sticky page periodical. They’ve arrived.

SI’s swimsuit coverage is a euphemism for topless chicks missing nipples; it now forms the backbone of SI’s content offering. This is not a complaint. This is a compliment. We have too many sports media outlets while it’s impossible to have too many cheesecake outlets. I have seventeen go-to sites for my NFL needs. Not as many producing original content of Leo DiCaprio’s latest European girlfriend grabbing her own tits. Is that a patch of chain mail over your snatch? Yes, that’s a sports question. Time Life’s lawyers will sue you if you call it porn.

_{Photo credit: SI 2017 on YouTube}