Robin Thicke Excessive Spanking

Paula Patton is accusing her ex-husband Robin Thicke of spanking their six-year old son excessively. Also drugs and alcohol use, though only the first charge caused a thousand dudes in WeHo to get wicked hard. She wants to change the terms of their custody to supervised-only daytime visits for Thicke.

It’s impossible to have an honest discussion in Hollywood about spanking children. You’d have more luck opening with, “Trump doesn’t seem like a bad dude”. The zeitgeist in town equates any spanking with the Albanian sex trafficking of children. The zeitgeist fails on temporal studies explaining why the town is filled with asshole kids and young adults. Paula Patton took a measured response and had their son’s school call the Department of Children and Family Services. They were between celebrity divorcee abuse claim cases, so they had time.

“We asked him [six year old, Julian] to show us how hard, and I asked him to hit me on my back,” Patton claims, saying she responded with an “ow.” She adds, “Julian said it was worse than that.”

Why not ask him to slap you in the retinal cones. It’s a close approximation to the behind. Is Thicke whacking the kid on the back? C’mon, you’re a trained actress. You can do better than “ow”.

Robin Thick responded that he’s cooperating with DCFS and they’ve recommended no change in custody status. Also that his ex-wife is a vindictive shrew angered that he wouldn’t let her attend his father’s recent funeral. Also, he pretended to fuck Miley Cyrus and really fucked their hot masseuse. 

There are no winners or losers in these nasty custody cases, unless you count the kid who is royally screwed between warring parents. If history is any indicator, just have him start experimenting with drugs and casual sex and hating his parents now and save yourself some time. We’ve paid you both well pretending you’re singer and actor, respectively. You could’ve handled this one important job a little better.

_{Photo credit: FameFlynet}