Ray J’s Big Brother Run Ends Prematurely

You can tell a lot about someone by their teeth. Background, income, level of self respect, prevalence of drug use, etc. Ray J has been shooting Celebrity Big Brother in England for the past few weeks, a service of which he is supposed to be paid a million dollars to be a fuck tape punchline. A few days ago Ray J reportedly began complaining of severe tooth pain but the producers didn’t believe him, probably figuring he’d realized he was making an ass of himself and was aiming for an out. They reportedly forced him to keep shooting because the premise of Big Brother is basically indistinguishable from human trafficking.

Eventually his pain became so unbearable that the rag tag cast of orphans and burnouts staged a mutiny and refused to go on until Ray J got help but unfortunately refrained from murdering and cannibalizing any producers, which would have been the only scenario in which this show were to garner decent ratings. The next day the producers arranged for a dentist from the 1930’s to make a house call to the set. He gave Ray J a bunch of pills, but the situation didn’t improve the next day at which point he blacked out from the pain, or potentially a combo of pills and booze and pain, and was taken to a hospital where he was found to have an:

“Abscessed tooth, a cracked filling, and a severe gum issue.”

Zero chance all that developed during shooting. Ray J must be even worse off financially than we assumed, and we assumed he was hitting the Coin Star on the regular for Pollo Loco vouchers. Take care of your teeth, and buy a decent mattress. You can fake everything else until you make it. The type of dude willing to go bareback on Kim Kardashian probably doesn’t have a lot of hygiene scruples. You can tell a lot about someone by their teeth. In this case, the dude’s a fucking bum. Since he left the show early it’s unclear if he’ll ever be paid that million. Just pull them all out and get it over with, it’s clearly happening sooner than later. 

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