Poor Guatemalan Woman Gives Birth For Amy Smart

You probably remember Amy Smart from being the ridiculously hot chick in 90’s movies who couldn’t act, and nobody brought it up or cared. You looked at her like she was your actual girlfriend taking a cooking class, not starring in blockbuster films. Maybe it’s not for her, but she’ll figure something out. 5 stars.

Smart is forty and unable to reproduce the traditional way, where your male model/TV carpenter husband jizzes inside you and nine months later a baby pops out. Evolution be damned, Smart and her husband spent hundreds of thousands of dollars and somehow got a third person to carry a baby which was comprised of his sperm and her egg. Gross. Smart took to social media to thank everyone involved, which amounted in size roughly to the crew of Avatar: 

“Feeling so grateful to have her in my arms… after years of fertility struggles I give thanks today to our kind, loving surrogate for carrying her.”

When a person carries a baby they provide it with mitochondrial DNA. If the third party is a chick from Panama that might not be a bad thing. They made it here, they must be a fighter. Plus, they’re probably fertile. Good genes. Perhaps better than yours. If it’s a chick from Fresno who needs the 50k, don’t be surprised when the kid is doing whippets and impregnating the chick from his heavy metal band at age eleven.

It’s obvious now why Hollywood is so friendly to immigrants. They don’t want the stretch marks. If only you could find someone to raise it for you, or do your dishes. Same woman? Package deal, she can live in the shed behind the guest house. 

Photo Credit: Instagram