Malia Obama Scoring All the Good Jobs

The Weinstein film company sorted through all their resumes of applicants for their much sought after New York summer internship program and randomly picked Malia Obama. The same thing happened last summer when Halle Berry was choosing assistants to work with her on her TV show. I’ve been to hundreds of sporting events and never won a single fan appreciation prize or even a Jumbotron dance cam close-up. Some people are simply unlucky.

Malia Obama is finishing up her gap year, which is the new thing kids are doing as a learning-working year between high school and attending Harvard because your dad was the President. It’s not so much that important public figures and elected officials grant themselves tremendous personal advantage, as it is how much they cry out for even playing fields without a hint of hypocrisy. Everybody wants a leg up for their kids and nobody’s turning away sweet opportunities for their offspring simply to comply with their egalitarian public rants. Just fucking say it. Everybody hates The Man until they become The Man. Also, keep your fake Foundation take to under fifty million to look less gross by comparison.

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