Kardashian Reasons to Pen in Ocean’s Eight

Hollywood’s put women and Leslie Mann’s gimp in charge of empowering women in film. Mostly they’ve come up with taking previously successful film franchises and rebooting them with female casts in the place of the original male cast. You give ideating a bad name, and that word was already bullshit.

Ocean’s Eight is a reprise of Ocean’s Eleven featuring an all-female cast. Given how much less women make than men you’d think they could’ve come up with maybe sixteen or seventeen cast members. They simply ran out of federally mandated demographic check boxes after gay Asian chick. Polar bear who’s ice caps have melted don’t yet have a Title IX callout. 

To be fair to filmmakers, the project was greenlit when everybody in Hollywood assumed Hillary Clinton would be tossing complementary douches off the West Wing balcony and America would be celebrating its diversity by way of legal fiat. Producers reset the caper of the film at the big Met Gala, with cameos being filmed currently by Kim Kardashian, Kendall Jenner, Anna Wintour of Vogue, and various famous fashion designers you couldn’t name if you saw them pawing at your stall door in the Grand Central Station men’s room.

Katie Holmes who makes a Met Gala cameo in the film summed up the real strengths of Ocean’s Eight:

“I’m happy that it has so many amazing women in it, so many amazing actresses.”

Does the theater have decent parking and is your movie packed with amazing women? Women remains our nations largest minority group at fifty-one percent of the population. We didn’t used to make movies for purer reasons. Shut the fuck up.