It’s Official, You’re Lesbians

It’s weird how people so quickly take on the guise of central casting characters when they assume a new role in their life. Kristen Stewart and Stella Maxwell clearly employed a lesbian lifestyle coach to develop appropriate wardrobe and mannerisms affected by millennial urbane lesbians. Like the guys who donned mesh shirts because they wanted to be Deion Sanders. The latter being far gayer.

Stewart and Maxwell made their forbidden love official by hitting up Silver Lake for vegan smoothies and cigarettes. You know smoking’s a killer, but have you heard of the struggles of attractive millionaire lesbians in sneakers? It’s like On the Waterfront. You could’ve been a contender if it weren’t for your parents telling you to be pretty. Not to mention those excessively progressive California State income taxes. 

Trump’s taking away our right to an abortion. Neither of us produce semen. Fuck, we need a new hook.

_{Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret}