Cody Alan Gay Hick

Country music DJ Cody Alan just revealed he’s gay. You know when someone tips you off to a surprise party and you have to act like you’re shocked? Alan being an obvious gay would be totally fine and harmless and good for the neighborhood if not for the fact that he was married and had several children. Doesn’t that seem kind of unfair to the wife? Unless she already knew like everyone else, but denial is a real thing. Assuming not, wouldn’t Cody’s explanation make him kind of a bad person?

“As we start a new year, there is something I want to share with you. You see, I’m gay. This is not a choice I made, but something I’ve known about myself my whole life.” 

Having an idiotic girlfriend makes sense if you’re in the closet, but why go through the trouble of getting married and reproducing multiple times? There are plenty of straight males like myself, roughly Cody’s same age, who have never done any of those things. Why go to such lengths to prove yourself? Are you saying your audience is comprised of bigoted white trash who vote against their own interests and need this type of validation for their corporate socially engineered shit ass music culture? Sorry, for asking too many questions. Sweet power clean bro, seriously, we were totally taken aback. His kids didn’t care: 

“To their generation, being gay is like your eye color, it’s just there, so they understood better than I thought.”

Cody is now dating some dude he met while married to his wife. Assuming his story checks out, being secretly gay is not especially like eye color. Clearly infidelity is frowned upon by the fake Christians who still watch TMC, but also fucking gay guys in the church basement can transmit AIDS to your wife. Whatever, what a fucking hero. Who’s got a gun, I’m looking at you Cody. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}