Chris Brown Still Impossibly Not Incarcerated

Do not get into a road rage accident with Chris Brown, because he will shoot you and smoke crack on your corpse. There’s a myth that being tough is actually centered on fighting ability. 99 percent of it is just being willing to mix it up and go to jail.

You don’t have to be a badass to beat the shit out of Rihanna, just ready and willing to get herpes when her blood spatters your shirt. He dances. Enough said. Brown seems to be charged with a felony semi-annually and yet continues to walk the earth. He and his posse of lower level Bloods got banned for life from Lifetime Fitness in New York.

It’s incredibly difficult to get kicked out of a gym if you’re not speeded up on drugs. Apparently Brown and crew were blasting music really loud on the basketball court and generally acting like assholes. Imagine having the idea to bring your own speaker to the gym, and then following through on it. Worst of all, you’re probably playing really awful music, such as Chris Brown. Brown and his crew of pseudo gangsters got into an argument with the manager and were then kicked out and started spitting everywhere. Odds are he was already on their radar for blowing muscular guys in the shower.

If you see this dude don’t fuck with him, he’s got a decade left to live, he’s little, and is not going quietly. Is it weird that you know a guy’s name and not one of his songs? Keep dancing, you fucking pussy. 

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